I have always said when my ship comes in I will probably be at the airport. But let’s imagine I am on a luxury yacht sailing through remote islands of the South Pacific. Suddenly a rogue wave capsizes the vessel and I am washed ashore with the only other survivor: a man ten years my junior with a smirk and crazy survival skills. Of course in this fantasy, I am a younger, thinner and more beautiful version of myself. Instantly the two of us realize we have only our wits and each other to survive and joke we are an older version of the teenagers from “Blue Lagoon”.

Unlike the original female castaway, however, I require certain beauty essentials to maintain my allure. My companion, however, is devilishly handsome with a 3-day stubble and hair a few days past its ordinary styling schedule. While it is maddening how men of a certain age only appear more attractive when faced with a lack of grooming products, there are those of us who feel like Quasimodo without a blow dryer and lip gloss. So what’s a girl to do in such dire circumstances?